Buenos Noches Santander.

This is it...One leg of a journey complete.

So yeah...I'm leaving tomorrow and I can't believe how quickly all the time passed. Tomorrow morning, I'm moving on to Rome. I don't know the scope of feelings my groupmates share in respect to this city, but I know for myself that this place (and country as a whole) affected me in a major way. I'm coming back a changed person for life no question about that. Needless to say, in many ways I'll be better for that. So yeah...

I'm looking forward to the change of scenery. Rome, as tourist catering as it is, will be dope I'm sure. I've always wanted to see and I intend to do as many of the generic touristy things as I can stand (haha). I have to say, the one big thing I'm looking forward to though is the Vatican. I'm not the most devout Catholic, but as a Filipino, Catholicism is a huge part of my culture and the faith that I have the most faith in. I've always been intrigued by it, the art, culture and all of that. Also, my parents have always wanted to see it and this is the experience I would love most to bring back to them. Most of all though, I can't wait to experience yet another culture and language. I'm really excited for all of it.

Going back to the subject of change, I don't feel a laundry list is necessary, because once I (finally) get back to the States. I'd rather be about it than talk about it. In lieu of this, I've got much to prepare for the remainder of the year. I'm looking forward to sharing stories, pictures, experiences with all my friends and family back home. I appreciate everyone that's been staying up with me throughout this thing. In your own ways, great to minute, you all have helped me to get through this thing.

More to come in Roma...check my Spain pics on facebook.

Peace!

Frustration 4th.

I'll be the first to admit when I'm wrong and when I've got shortcomings. Lately, communication has been the big one. On the positive tip, in the time I've been in this country my comprehension game has gone up in a major way. The tempo of speech here has slowed down for me to the point of sounding like good ol' American English (with the exception of the few drunken and eccentric accents here and there). I was in class today and for some odd reason never felt so frustrated with speaking Spanish. One of my shortcomings is that I hate to be put on the spot, I'll admit that I'm not so quick on the draw when I'm caught verbally off-guard. My folks that really know me and my personality know that it's an ironic drawback I've got. Oh well, we all have them. I have to say I was glad that it happened...I was outside the University, smoking a stog and analyzing the situation to myself. I needed to talk to someone and it was around lunch time. I head back to the casa and my host dad was waiting on me to have lunch. I had one of the most fruitful talks I've had with him. I totally unloaded all my frustrations with him. He was super reassuring giving me little bits of advice here and there. I was grateful for it. The ironic part of it all was that I unloaded all of it with the most flawless Spanish I've used since I've been here...I even used some of the stuff I read over the past few days that I couldn't get down in a semester as well as some stuff I didn't think I knew. Being around everything has made an impact on me and I was worried that it wasn't. It was reassuring to know that I'm making progress towards my goal. I've made a decision for the rest of the trip to try to build with folks that share my interest...not alienating the others, but I've got to think about what I want out of this thing and if I've got to be drastic to do it..then so be it I will.

Next...Happy 4th yall! Honestly, today makes me really miss home. I've always been a big fan of the fellowship that today brings. I miss my family, homies, beer and grilling out on food and meaningful conversation. I'm grateful to be here and being here makes me more grateful for what I'm blessed with back in good ol' Amurrica. I'm fortunate to have a good group of people here as well at least we have each other to help the grip of us to remain mindful of what I've just said. I hope all of your holidays are blessed. Felíz Día de Indepencia de España!

Real World: Santander...Located in the sunny REAL WORLD.

I'm going to try and keep this portion of one short, but that might be unlikely. I've got to rant for a bit. I think the tension is going to rise high over the next few days. The formula of this thought is composed of one part realism, one part paranoia, and the remaining half comes from the fact that everyone is different. Personalities clash or coalesce, but sometimes albeit rarely (in my opinion) reach a feasible consensus in situations such as ours. We're all in a different country and we're dealing with it in our own ways. All of us have expectations from this place and this journey at large. I personally want to grow from all of this. Fun is fun and it can manifest itself in various ways. I like a little of everything. You can learn from any situation whether it be in the classroom or in the everyday. I'm not a tourist here, that's not what I want to be. I want to be part of the life here, if not for a small fraction of time. I want to learn about myself, this culture and those around me. I want to leave here knowing that I've built a foundation that's beneficial for both myself and those I've come into (and will) come into contact with in the future. I feel that lines have been established among us and I don't feel comfortable with that. Judgements..ill ones tend to be made when things like this arise. Personally, I don't have an outstanding problem with anyone I'm with here. Reservations? I've got them...Hell, We all do and that's the fact of the matter, but nothing so grave as to make me overtly hate. It's not worth it. I hope we can talk and keep things objective/constructive. I'm trying to keep things objective for my own good, but there comes a time where you got to let someone know what time it is. For my own benefit, to get things off my chest..I'm listing words and things that are beginning to grate on me: I'm not naming names but if you get mad by reading this, then you need to reevaluate your knowledge of self....besides I'd tell this stuff to the parties involved if they ever opened up the opportunity...believe that.
Clique(ishness)
Pretentious attitudes
Inability to held accountable.
English.
Lack of Spanish.
Inability to be forthcoming.
Backhandedness
Shallow thinking.
I'm lifting all of this bullshit up to whatever omnipotence exists in the vast expanse of well....existence. It won't go away, but at least I'll be able to rise over it. This week is new and I'm going to use it to reevaluate and examine myself in order to increase my understanding. Rant accomplished.
So that's the 'haps as for now. I've been spending a good bit of time by myself. I realize more and more everyday how much I have to step my Spanish game up. I think that the more I listen and observe that things are making more sense. I wish conversation was easier for me though...not that it isn't in general, but using a different language can really test someone's patience if you're not so adept of language. That's one thing that's been a downer for me. So many times I want to just get out there and converse with the world. I understand most accents and what not almost fluently. I get what's being said, but I'm not a quickdraw with speaking back. I believe that will come with time. I feel that it's a combination of everything that will help me get better with speech. Understanding the basis of a culture is one of the most key elements to learning its language. Nuria has stated this before in previous classes. I never doubted her statement of fact for a moment, but I will admit I took it for granted. I just have to open up more and more to be able to open up more in the future. I've still got time. I've started hitting the books..building my verb bank and relearning the grammar I've always had a hard time with. Alongside being in the culture where all this comes from, I understand how the language is implemented more and more. It makes more sense every thought I refer back to, slowly but surely. I've got to keep this mindset maintained. Lately, I've been feeling somewhat accomplished. I spend alot of time walking the city just listening to what's in my ears...the people, beats I haven't had the chance to listen to and what not. My music lately makes me feel like I have a personal soundtrack all the time. The mixtape is definitely coming along nicely as far as my track selection. I found the record spots here, found some dope stuff, but now to do the homework as to whether the prices are worth it or if I can find them elsewhere before I commit the euros to them. The conversions are not forgiving that's for sure, but yah...it's just money. The experience here is priceless. Slowly, I've become accustomed to where I'm at, but I want to become more a part of it and understand. It's not all good all the time, but I can say I'm better than I was before.